Author: Harvey and Vickie Deneroff

Categories
Syntax

Syntax: Short and Long Sentences

Fat short man vs tall thin manSyntax, usage, grammar and diction are all closely related, and sometimes it is impossible to separate them. In this post I’m going to talk about decisions the writer has to make about sentence length.

Just to be clear, syntax is defined as the choices the writer makes about putting words together to make phrases and sentences. This is kind of vague, and to tell the truth, whenever I use the word “syntax” I have to look up what it means exactly. While there are lots of correct ways to express ideas, there are an equal number of wrong ones. That really is why writing is so challenging!

So anyway, as writers, we are putting words together in order to express our ideas. The length of the sentences we choose needs to be deliberate.

What will be the effect of using a short sentence? Usually it conveys clear, simple ideas that we want the reader to follow quickly. A short sentence in the middle of longer ones halts the rhythm and calls attention to itself. Occasionally I will see writing that consists of strings of short sentences, which gets tedious and boring for the reader. The fix is to combine short sentences using conjunctions (but, because, and, or, nor) or relative pronouns (who, whom, which, whoever, whomever, whichever, and that).

By far the most common error with sentence length is the run-on sentence. Run-on sentences make the reader tired, and also require him or her to reread. If the writer’s intention is to get the reader to slow down and consider a complex idea, a longer sentence makes sense. But long sentence after long sentence makes the reader want to give up. The fix here is to break up the sentences, take out the conjunctions and relative pronouns, as well as adverbs like “however.”

The quick way to identify sentence length problems is to read it out loud to yourself. If it feels like a short, choppy rhythm, you need to combine some of the sentences. If you run out of breath reading a long sentence that goes on for several lines, and you can’t remember what the beginning was, it needs to be broken up.

— Vickie Deneroff

Categories
Ethnography Fiction and nonfiction writing Writing style

Style: Using Description in your Writing

Gary Cooper and Helen Hayes in the 1932 A Farewell to Arms movie.

Tips for creative and other descriptive writing. Whether you’re writing a novel or ethnography, description places the reader in the scene.

That night at the hotel, in our room with the long empty hall outside and our shoes outside the door, a thick carpet on the floor of the room, outside the windows the rain falling and in the room light and pleasant and cheerful, then the light out and it exciting with smooth sheets and the bed comfortable, feeling that we had come home, feeling no longer alone, waking in the night to find the other one there, and not gone away; all other things were unreal.

— Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

  • Good writing is good writing, whether it’s literature or a scholarly journal article.
  • Provide enough evidence so that the reader agrees with you. In the quote above, everything that precedes the last line is evidence for the private world of Hemingway’s characters, Henry and Catherine. We accept Hemingway’s assertion because we have experienced it for ourselves.
  • If you’re doing an ethnography or other academic writing, there is a paradox. Part of providing evidence is acknowledging alternative views. You want the reader to understand why you came to the conclusion you did.
  • In fiction writing, alternative perspectives are less important, since you don’t have to justify the existence of the world you are creating.
  • The point of this excerpt is that Henry and Catherine were living in their private world. The last words, “all other things were unreal,” says this explicitly. Don’t be afraid to be explicit.
  • Try to use all 5 senses, although not all at once, which would be overkill. The new writer’s tendency is to say what things look like, but if you place yourself in any situation, there is a lot more going on. The Hemingway passage is very tactile, even though it appears at first read to be visual. Smooth sheets, thick carpet, comfortable bed. Long empty halls come with a feeling, and subconsciously evoke smells, and even sounds or absence of sounds.
  • Focus on describing rather than telling. In this passage, Hemingway does not tell us the main characters Henry and Catherine are blissfully happy with each other, he uses words so we feel it.
  • Describing is NOT emotionally neutral. Hemingway’s images are deliberately chosen to evoke feelings. Good writing, especially good academic writing, has a definite perspective. Make your point without apology.
  • Economy of words. Eliminate words which don’t create images relevant to your point. Hemingway is famous for being lean and economical with his words. However, you can see that the carefully chosen images in the quote provide a rich sensual experience for the reader.

Recommended reading: H.L. Goodall’s book, Writing the New Ethnography.

— Vickie Deneroff

Categories
Uncategorized

Welcome to the Deneroff Editing and Research Services Blog

Whether or not you’re a customer or not, we would like to welcome you to our blog which will deal with all sorts of issues relating to writers and researchers. We trust it will prove to be not only a place where we share our knowledge, but where you can provide feedback and/or raise questions.

We are a small, boutique service, which means we can provide a very personal service tailored to meet the need of our clients. Based on our years of experience in teaching, editing, writing, research and library work, we try to offer the type of individual attention that larger companies may not be capable of. And this blog is one of the tools in providing this level of service..

Among the topics we will be posting about include:

  • The pitfalls of opening and closing statements in academic and other nonfiction writing, and why your opening should might be the last thing you write.
  • Using bibliographic management software to create your footnotes, endnotes or parenthetical citations, and your bibliography.
  • The value of Wikipedia and why you should not use it as a source for any academic writing.
  • How to evaluate sources of information, whether they are found on the web or in a university press book.
  • Using description in your nonfiction and fiction writing.
  • Using spell and grammar checkers.
  • Common grammatical errors.
  • Commas, semicolons and other uses of punctuation.
  • What is plagiarism and how to avoid it.
  • Creating your own Google search engine.

— Harvey & Vickie Deneroff