One of the most common struggles students seem to have is how to go beyond vague generalizations. Being clear about what you mean through the use of examples makes your writing easy to understand. A good approach focuses on “showing” not “telling.”
To be clear about the difference, telling means a statement without letting the reader know how or why you reached that conclusion.
Example #1: Student writing that needs revision:
In the novel The Great Gatsby, all the characters are unattractive. The author did not develop sympathy for the main characters, Jay Gatsby and Daisy Buchanan. They got what they deserved. This novel is vastly overrated.
Example #2: On the other hand, the Spark Notes description of Gatsby’s empty, decadent characters provides rich detail that goes beyond moral judgment.
The luncheon with Wolfshiem gives Nick his first unpleasant impression that Gatsby’s fortune may not have been obtained honestly. Nick perceives that if Gatsby has connections with such shady characters as Wolfshiem, he might be involved in organized crime or bootlegging.
One purpose of the novel is to show the moral bankruptcy of social elites during the Roaring Twenties. Even though the Spark Notes version (hated by teachers) covers similar territory as Example #1. However the website author shows us the immoral behavior rather than just stating it as a fact. It is important to let the readers understand why you make the statements you do.
The thesis statement of Example #1 is that the characters are unattractive. The implication in the concluding sentence is that the writer did not enjoy the novel. Both are valid perspectives. Between the beginning and the end, however, there is something missing: Details that show the reader why you made those statements.